Holy Shit Green Witches

Hi kids! I had a ball in Greenwich on Saturday, 'spect due to all who came down, with special reference to the Modern Love Crew, oh my gosh you guys were wasted, Blah Blah Blah plus Ian 2bob and Grace PickNMix and all the fun drunk people who kissed me afterwards. I think you'll agree that the BAF team looked pretty nifty in our new tats, tanx to Beyond Retro for them, it's still my favourite store but that show was surreal- felt like I was in a music video.

Yo and Abby and Tristan were well good! They were this acoustic duo who played before us at Beyond Retro. They've only just started but they do some great chord changes and Tristan's voice reminded me of Elliot Smith. But don't tell him i said that or he'll start flashbacking to a hideous childhood experience involving the late singer. Seriously. I'll put up a link to their beatz once they've recorded something.

Nearly Caused Nuclear War

Hi Tobias here. I work in the Cabinet war rooms & Churchill museum. This is like an underground bunker type thing that churchill used during the second world war to plan the allied offensive against the hun. Anyway from time to time we have VIP's comming into the war rooms (Madge Bishop from neighbors once) and yesterday we had the Pakistanni president. Well I didn't know this as spun round a corner very quickly and nearly headbutted him. Imagine my embarrasment if my head connected with his and thus causing a nuclear war.

Angel is great! Had a BBQ the on saturday whilst watching the England match. Drunk from 2pm to 2am! Never go to international Hi fi bollocks. We only went their coz its ten mins away.

Gotta go to work now!!!! Bye

TOBIAS

I Love My A.K

Hello my lovely followers. Mark here- I play keyboards and that in t'band. I also have a boozing hangover - so you can forgive me if reading this is a total waste of your time.

Bolt Action 5 head quarters are jumping ship from that heavenly enclave of north London known as Southgate (check your a-z- its in zone 12 or something), to the vastly superior Angel- where we wont have to auction off our Grandparents to pay for taxis, (sorry I meant gold plated Limousines) to chauffer us to gigs. Therefore please redirect your rabid fan mail in that direction. Just leave it in the bin by the tube station- our butler who used to play the triangle in Gay Dad will come pick it up.

But the biggest news from the world of BA5 is that we will be treating the good people at the Latitude festival in Suffolk to our idiosyncratic brand of Eurovision jazz reggae on the 14^th of July. Tickets are normally about a tenner, but they had to raise them to £95 this year after adding us to the bill. Some might say this is a bit steep, but they dont have Haribo addictions to feed. We were meant to headline, but we thought it only fair to give a less famous group like Snow Patrol a chance, so now we'll be playing in one of the tents- where all the cool kids hang out.

Anyway, Im off to eat some Kellogs Corn Flakes drenched in ice cold milk, so hope to see you at the Pleasure Unit on Monday. Bye Bye my loyal slaves. Ha! Ha! Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!. (Cue ominous music and tonnes of dry ice as my eyes glow red and I disappear in a snap of fire and smoke- as demonstrated by that twat on the right).